I’ve met some people over the course of my life (as you do) who were pretty toxic individuals. It’s always a frustrating experience. Usually, they see their abusive behaviour as, “Motivating,” when most times it has exactly the opposite effect. Be it work related or on personal time, nobody wants to be around somebody who is at their very core an asshole who makes you feel shitty.
These days it’s easy to feel surrounded by toxicity. Our politics are populated by tribalism, it feels like the planet is under constant attack by those who view profits as being more important than breathing clean air or having potable water and being insular and afraid of the, “Other,” is seen as strength. There’s a lot of, “My way or the highway,” attitude out there and it’s reinforced by what ever bubble of influence you live within. Frankly, it’s killing all of us.
My experiences with toxic people is they lack empathy, the ability to see things from another’s point of view and because of that, they’ll lock on to one tiny thing, regardless of whether it’s a salient point or not and fight to the death on that hill. The problem for those of us dealing with this is we’re not even aware we’re in a fight in the first place. This toxic myopia is truly stunning to behold as the confronted narcissist will go through amazing flips and contortions of logic (or for the most part illogic) to maintain their supposed position of superiority. The funny thing is, they think they’re winning when in fact everyone around them is just figuring a way around them, so things can get done. They seek to isolate others but in the end just isolate themselves.