The Rough Draft

If you can't go through it. Go around it.


Sitting at the Dragon’s Mouth, Yellowstone National Park, 2008

You guys might have noticed a lack of postings as of late. There’s a few reasons for this. I’ve been fairly open about my own mental issues over the course of this blog and some of that plays into this but I’m going to talk about the cascade effect of things and how they can trip us up.

Last year in November, I was diagnosed as a type 2 Diabetic. Not much of a shock as I’d been feeling odd for a while and finally got myself into a doctor to confirm it. There were of course lifestyle changes. Sugar got booted and I’m trying to watch my carb intake (though it’s proving to be the harder monkey to get off my back) as well as do some exercise. Some things of course now made sense, like how a small cut would take forever to heal and how I seemed to bruise even more easily than before. My blood work had also come back with high cholesterol so my doc put me on an anti-statin, which truth be told brought my numbers right back into normal ranges. The thing is, you know those American drug ads where they list all of the side effects of said drug being advertised? They’re not messing about. One of the side effects of my particular drug was lower leg and joint pain. The trouble is I also suffer from Arthritis in my shoulder and knees and I’m not unfamiliar with being in a general state of aches and pains. So when my legs started to hurt a bit, I didn’t exactly pass it off but I didn’t give it anything more than a general sort of status in the catalogue of, “Places on my body that hurt.”

After my trip out to BC where the pain in my right knee was bad enough it was making it hard to sleep, I started physiotherapy and a few other things at the clinic to bring me relief and while they all worked temporarily to relive my pain, I wasn’t getting better. In fact my general pain levels were going up. Sleep was starting to be something that happened to other people. Add to that the rest of the things I was trying to get done, like publish the next book in my Devil’s series and release another audiobook and there you have the recipe for hard times in your head.

I was having a difficult time putting thoughts together. My writing productivity dropped off the chart. Where I used to be able to bang through a thousand words in a little over an hour, I now struggled (and still struggle) to put out a lousy few thousand words a week.

It became painfully clear, I needed a new approach to my Cholesterol levels. So now my doc has me off the anti-statin and onto large doses of B3 which I take with an Aspirin because it, “Makes you feel flushed.” Actually, it makes you feel like Fire Ants are having a go at you under your skin. Apparently it’s a vitamin, you’re supposed to ease into, not just say, “Fuck it, let’s do this,” and clang it down your pie hole. I’m still working my way up to the dose my doc recommends just 100mg to go.

So between the pain, the meds, the lack of sleep and the other general BS that is our lives, the blog took a hit as far as content generation goes. I’m trying to work around all of this and get back to my old self but I’ll be honest, it’s a daily struggle right now to stay on track . I’d hoped for a better opening month for Devil’s Ante but frankly it hasn’t been there. Still, it took three months for Devil’s Gambit to take off. I’m hoping the sequel will follow a similar path.

And here’s hoping I get back to being the guy in the picture below.


3 thoughts on “Troubled Times

  1. I really love this post! It’s super interesting and and kind of funny. I’m gunna follow you for more stuff. Maybe you’d do the same and check out my latest piece of writing? Thanks, Conor.


  2. melissa says:

    Troubles. They eventually find us all. A diet of no animal anything and lots of vegetables has been known to cure high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. I hate to say vegan because it is not the processed reincarnated vegan cookies that changes but a diet of green. People have been know to forgo bypass surgery to elect a new diet and they have been cured and not gone under the knife.

    I had a scare myself of a temporary episode of high blood pressure, that scared the shit out me. I have adopted this new diet. I have been playing with fire with my weight for years, just skirting around healthy eating enough to keep my levels normal…but this episode kicked into overdrive.

    Keep us abreast of your progress. Hopefully your head , heart , and mind will clear as well as your arteries.


    1. sabot03196 says:

      My BP isn’t too bad and my Doc isn’t that worried about the Cholesterol as much as she is about the Diabetes. So we’re working on that first but jeez, I need to get back on a regular sleep regimen. There are days where I feel like I’m having an hours long out of body experience.


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